Ramblings. . .

I don't like writing my personal thoughts when I know that people may read it. Why? Because then I am forced to censor my thoughts. My thoughts! Nope. Don't think so. I got in trouble with that before. I was too honest once before with my heart in an open online forum.

One day I'll be unleashed. One day. One day I am going to publish a book of my personal diary entries. But not yet. I am still too young and those memories are not distant enough yet. I had inspiration earliertonight. I had the whole thing mapped out . . in my head. I wanted to talk about control and how we, as women, especially struggle with the need to control. This is a struggle that began with Eve. It was part of the curse upon humankind. Now women everywhere are aching. I see this struggle daily. People often feel like they need to control things because they feel powerless and they fear. Or they simply do not understand their place so they control. They do not trust others so they take matters into their own hands and they control. They feel muted, overlooked, rejected, misunderstood so they grasp with all their might to what they can still control. And control they do. Yes, I am speaking of people I know with these very issues. I know these issues well. I, too, struggle with fear. I fear everything. My greatest fear, perhaps, is that I will never find love. Second is that I will never get to have a meaningful career in public relations. Do you know where my fears come from? Low self-esteem, self doubt, comparing myself to others my own age who have what I wish I could have. . .

There I go getting personal about it. Well, if only my speaking engagement had not been canceled everyone would have discovered how to overcome fear and the need to control from my own personal experiences. But, in a nutshell, do things that you are scared of doing while you are still afraid. Dare to trust in God. Cast out the Spirit of Fear. Acknowledge that as a believer you are more than a conquerer and you have the blood of Kings running through your veins. Committ to love yourself. Truly take every thought captive. Be honest with yourself. Identify your fears. Call them out by name. Then say goodbye to them in the name of Jesus. Believe. Believe. Believe. Let go of the reigns to your life. Realize you are not the one in control.

That was what the F word was about. . . Well, look forward to December. Gay tropical storm Fay may have kept me from speaking like I was supposed to this past Tuesday night but I am coming back in December with a whole new word. Let us pray.

Latest Creations

I am speaking this month for my church's women's ministry!

The "F" word?!

You'll just have to come and find out, now won't you?

I love how this one came out!

. . . and more updates to follow soon!