The World is Your Oyster!

I have been quite unhappy lately with my current situation. All I want in this life currently is to begin my career in public relations and to have a husband.

I have been praying lately, asking God how long this season will last and praying about my next move. I just want to learn and accomplish what it is I am supposed to and move on and never look back. I don't want to be like the children of Israel who wandered in the wilderness for 40 years when the trip was a 11 - 12 day hike in reality. I also don't want to misstep though. Hmmph.

God has been speaking to me lately about pearls. I won't reveal yet details of my revelations at this time in regards to pearls, but it occurred to me tonight that one of the reasons I am going through this is to build my testimony.

Think about it: The world is your oyster!

Stepping Up to the Plate

Recently God brought back to memory the story of Ruth.

My boss is not just my boss. She truly cares about me. She is awesome. She knows how badly I want a husband. She also knows how boring and uneventful my life is. . .

Lately, she has just been ragging me bad on how I never go anywhere or do anything but all I do is work, go home and go to church services. She's been suggesting everything under the sun she can think of ranging from clubbing to dancing to internet dating. . . and I have come up with every excuse as to why I can't (or won't) do any of them. . .

(BTW-internet dating is such a turn off to me! Congrats to those who've tried and it worked, but to me it sounds like a lame appeal of desperation.)

She always says, "God helps those who help themselves."

Okay, I ain't no Bible scholar but I don't think that is in the Bible. My understanding is that God helps those who cry out for help, because, believe me, I cry out to God everyday. Yep, I yell at God while crying and scream, "Where the hell is my husband?"
So yeah, don't give me that crap, I'd think as she is giving me her spill.

Needless to say, I do not agree with every suggestion my boss has about me finding a mate, but the more I got to thinking about it, I realized she does has a valid point. The main thing she has been trying to get me to realize is that in order to meet my man, I have to make myself available. All I do is sit on the couch after a long day of work. Then, by around 9:30 p.m., I fall asleep on the couch in the same upright position I was 4 hours ago. But I never fall alseep until I have squeezed in a good hour of drooling over the hilariously handsome Tony DiNozzo (played by Michael Weatherly) on TV's NCIS. Fun fun, because, yeah, he's real-ly made up.

I asked my Dad the other day if "God helps those who help themselves" was in the Bible. He put it this way--faith without works is dead.

Hmmph.

So my girl Ruth. I'd been trying to figure her out for a while now since that last fiasco when I was alone with a house full of male recovering drug addicts. Another very important part of her story was that she liked Boaz. Boaz liked her. But for whatever reason, Naomi felt it was important that Ruth make the first move and seduce him. Naomi told Ruth to bathe in the finest perfumes, put on her best robes, and after Boaz fell asleep to go in and tuck herself under the covers at his feet. This action would basically tell him she was available.

This is like totally scandalous! But it worked and it went down in history. Check it out in Ruth 3.

So, okay, God and my boss, I get it. I need to make myself available. How can I make myself available following in Ruth's virtuous example these days?

What can I do?

I am NOT going to internet date. (Lame!)

. . . I am going to a Rays baseball game this Wednesday. I have always said that I want a man who knows to how to step up to the plate. (Literal translation will do just fine.)

Stick with the Girls

God led me to the book of Ruth a little less than a year ago. Ruth was an amazing woman--truly. How God led me to her book is an interesting story. At the time, there was a Russian/Ukrainian drug rehab group that attended our church. I hung out with them a lot and attended their services. Why not? They were my age and there was certainly no other young people in the church my age.

One night, after work, I drove to the brother's house where their Thursday service was held. After the service was over, unbenounced to me, all of the girls packed up in one van and left. I didn't realize it because I was talking to someone and no one said goodbye. There I was. The only girl in a house full of recovering drug addict men. I stayed to finish my conversation with my male friend. Then they ordered pizza and invited me to stay for dinner. So I did.

I then helped clean up the kitchen. I ended up washing their dishes! Before I knew it the time on the clock read 9:30 p.m. My cell phone was in my car because I left it in there. I had planned on leaving about 4 hours before. Yikes! Keep in mind I was still the only girl in a house full of really nice guys who I considered friends, yet they were recovering drug addicts in rehab. . .

God dealt with me regarding this situation a few days later. He led me to the story of Ruth. These parts, in particular.

Chapter 2, Verse 8 - 9
Then Boaz said to Ruth, “You will listen, my daughter, will you not? Do not go to glean in another field, nor go from here, but stay close by my young women. 9 Let your eyes be on the field which they reap, and go after them. Have I not commanded the young men not to touch you? And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink from what the young men have drawn.”

Verses 19 - 23
19 And her mother-in-law said to her, “Where have you gleaned today? And where did you work? Blessed be the one who took notice of you.” So she told her mother-in-law with whom she had worked, and said, “The man’s name with whom I worked today is Boaz.” 20 Then Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, “Blessed be he of the LORD, who has not forsaken His kindness to the living and the dead!” And Naomi said to her, “This man is a relation of ours, one of our close relatives.” 21 Ruth the Moabitess said, “He also said to me, ‘You shall stay close by my young men until they have finished all my harvest.’” 22 And Naomi said to Ruth her daughter-in-law, “It is good, my daughter, that you go out with his young women, and that people do not meet you in any other field.” 23 So she stayed close by the young women of Boaz, to glean until the end of barley harvest and wheat harvest; and she dwelt with her mother-in-law.

Chapter 3, Verses 10 - 11
10 Then he said, “Blessed are you of the LORD, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich. 11 And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman.

Let me break down these passages for you:

Basically, Ruth goes to go get some grub for her and Naomi. Boaz, the rich dude that owns a field that Ruth is working spots her and it is love at first sight. He gives her favor. He tells her that he will offer her protection and plenty of work as long as she keeps coming to his field and works alongside his female servants. Basically, he is saying--stick with the girls.

So then Ruth excitedly reports to Naomi that she met an intriguing man who showed her favor. But she misquotes him. She says, "I can work in his field alongside his servants."

Naomi is like, "Uh-uh, girlfriend. This is a good man. You need to stick with the girls. Stay away from the other men. This one is a possibility."

Then, Ruth listens to Naomi and sticks with the girls. At the end of the story, sticking with the girls paid off. He could see she was a virtuous woman and not a cheap slut.

Good deal. God told me in this to stick with the girls.

Zacharias

My Mom is always blogging. She often mentions to me about how I rarely ever post. To tell the truth, the things I wish to write about would be way too personal to post on a public website. The things I wish to get off my chest are topics of love, God's will, waiting and anxiety. Some things are just left best unsaid. I began to wonder recently if Zacharias in the Bible was made a mute for more reasons that just because of his unbelief when an angel of the Lord came to him to tell him of his wife, Elizabeth's pregnancy to their son who went on to become John the Baptist. Perhaps the things that were to come were just too delicate that he needed to guard his tongue and keep silent.

Friends, the things to come for Ms. Kimberly Jones are just too delicate. I must keep silent for now. All will reveal itself in due time. I must cease this blog until God allows me to speak. Zacharias was unable to speak until his son was born. I am pregnant with possibilities and God's promises. I cannot speak until these promises manifest themselves. Forgive me for my silence. I hope you do understand.

My latest creation. .

I made this for the Chic Conference this weekend. After I got my current job in April I had to back out of being a major part of Chic because it became too much for me. My sister is doing a workshop for the conference and she told me what she wanted and this pamphlet is what I have come up with. . .

Caged Animals

Tonight I went to the women's meeting at church. Nancy Colby, a local artist who attends our church, spoke about creativity. She said when someone has creativity from God and are being suppressed it is like something within them is missing, crying out to be released. She referenced a new wine skin about to burst when someone is longing to express themselves and do what the were called to do. It was all I could do to keep the tears from coming. She then asked if anyone had a talent. I raised my hand to speak and my mouth opened. The words and sounds that came out of my mouth as tears were pouring shocked me as much as everyone else around me. I have never wanted to work in PR in my life so badly. I don't get it. I am literally feet away from the marketing department yet I am stuck being a secretary elsewhere. It is just not fair!

The meeting ended with me surrounded by tons of women as they prayed for me. Lord knows I need it. I don't know if I can take it anymore or I am going to burst. For now I am a caged animal that only comes alive in my dreams.

A Good Man is Hard to Find

So I have been thinking about what kind of man I want in my life lately because my future husband is so close I can feel it (said in faith, of course).

What I Do NOT Want in a Man:
I have discovered in my journey that I despise passivity in a man. You know what I am talking about, ladies. This kind of guy is so wimpy he makes you feel like a man because he does not step up and do his job of being manly and masculine. For instance, there is this guy who I'll call T. T is a great guy. He really is. Plus he is cute and has a set of gorgeous green eyes. He is sweet. He has a pretty rough past but he is a Christian now and is strong in his faith. I also kind of got the feeling he liked me. I kinda liked him too. I could talk to him. All of this is well and great. . . but I was just not feeling it. There is no chemistry whatsoever between us and he is passive and he makes me feel like shaking him and telling him, "Grow a pair and be a man!" Lately everytime I have seen him he has hinted around that he wanted to hang out with me but he wouldn't just say it. He even went through all this trouble to ask me for my cell number yet when I never called him he had the gall to ask me, the girl, why I had not called him. I am a girl. I don't call a guy I may be interested in or who may want to go out with me. That is his job. He is supposed to ask me out. Whatever. I don't think so. I want a man that knows his place and how to treat a woman. Moving on.

I also cannot stand it when guys are lazy and do not earn their own living. Pardon me, but I firmly believe that unless a person is not still going to school that they are fully capable of working a fulltime job and providing for himself. I know a couple of guys my age who are the biggest freeloaders EVER! These two guys were given things because people felt sorry for them. Yeah, they had rough upbringings and no family down here but still. . . They didn't even buy toilet paper. These guys were evicted out of their house and now are freeloading and using others because they can't keep a job to pay for their own crap. Ugh. To think I actually went out with one of these guys once. He even told me that if I wanted to go out with him on a second date I was going to have to foot the bill. Ha! Moving on. . .

I do not want a guy that will not commit. There are many reasons why it didn't work out with M. Probably one of the biggest reasons why it didn't work out though was that he didn't know what he wanted and would not commit. I'll never be able to wrap my brain around what he was thinking. He chased me for years and then one day I actually felt something for him and then the next week he was in someone else's arms. Oh the tears and emotions I wasted on him. I am just thankful our friendship is still intact.

Out of all the horrible guys I have mentioned and even those I have not mentioned I am certain there are still good men out there. In those good men I am absolutely positive God is raising up a godly masculine man who will one day be mine. The following things are. . .

What I DO Want in a Man:

I want a hard worker. He doesn't have to have a huge bank account or a be Einstein but I want someone who is not afraid to get his hands dirty and do what he has to do to provide for his family.

I want a fighter. Yes, a soldier would be nice, but what I mean in this is that he stands up for what he believes in. He does not let others mistreat him or walk all over him or his woman/children. This also means that when we get in arguments he will not break down and give in easily. I am stubborn. I won't back down. Heck, I like to argue. Pick a pointless fight and give me a reason to argue and you'll see things light up like fireworks.

I want someone intelligent. Once again, reiterating that he need not be Einstein or have a Ph D or even a Masters degree, I want him to be a thinker and think for himself. I have a Bachelor's degree. While it would be nice for my man to have a college degree it is totally okay with me if he does not as long as he has a trade or a good job with a promising future.
I want someone who is present. Men talk to report. Women connect through relationships, ie. talking. For women it is called rapport. My Dad is a great man but getting him to talk to my mom, sister, and I is like pulling teeth. When he gets home he just sits down with his laptop and the remote is in one hand and a Perrier is in the other. If I want to carry on a conversation with him I have to wait till there is a commercial on TV. My Dad is not always there. Sure, he is there physically but oftentimes he checks out emotionally. I need a man of my own who does not check out when I need him most.

I want someone who seeks adventure. Every man longs for adventure and women long to be part of man's hunt for adventure. I want someone who has a trade or a talent, has recognized this talent, embraces it, and works at it. Being a business man does not define who a man is. Don't men feel fully alive outdoors anyway? Go fishing, go hunting, go play ball, go do something outside. I'll even join you. Whether he is a business man, a musician, a ball player, or an artist, I want someone who has something he enjoys.

I want someone who is a manly man. I think nothing is more annoying that a man that makes me feel like a man or like one of his buddies. Nope. It is so not supposed to be like that. I am the woman. I want to inspire and bring out the masculinity in a man with my femininity. The two are reciprocal to one another. A man is masculine because a woman is feminine. A woman longs to be feminine because her man is masculine. Men, be a man in every sense of the word. Do not be ashamed of it. I am afraid for far too long women have asked, "Where are all the real men?" or as Paula Cole sang, "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" The church asked them to be women. The church told them they had to suppress their masculinity because they are Christians. Not so. That simply is not the truth and, as a Christian, I stand up and apologize to men on behalf of the church for this stigma.

I will not demasculinize my man.
I will never ask my man to pee sitting down.
I will never tell him he is not good enough.
I will not nag him as my mother nags my father.
Yet, I will encourage him and inspire him and insight within him a desire with my beauty and my femininity to be a man, my other half, and my husband because I need him.
I will love my man with a love that is heard of in love songs.
I will affirm him, encourage him, and lift him up.
I will be his help mate.
Because I am aiming to someday soon be that kind of wife I am looking for a man that will be that kind of man.

Future love of my life, my Man of God,

Step up and be that kind of man for me. Listen to the call of God on your life. Quit your running. You'll never find a true happiness aside from the will of God. I will be your feminine counterpart, your Ezer Kenegdo, your Eve, your Wife. I love that. I will proudly bear your family name and mother your children. I'll love you more than myself. You'll be only second to my God. Wait for me, my dear, and allow God to mold you into this kind of man. Be the kind of man I have dreamed of. Lord knows I have dreamt of you. You're my hero.

I love you whoever you are.

Love,
Your wife, Kim